You know those pictures you never take but really wanted to? Like the one of the lady at the wedding with the 80's feather earring or the pregnant lady smoking and drinking at a concert? Or the one of your baby when he wakes up at 11:30 and his Daddy goes and gets him and his hair is all fluttery and sticking up and his eyes are squinched tightly to keep out the light? Or he's in the bathtub with his head thrown back giggling and that little bit of neck dirt peeking out and when his Toots says bye, he says bye back for the first time? Or the way that face looks close to yours in the morning when he's just woken up? Or when he discovers how a new toy works and how much fun it is to bang blocks together or open and close a cabinet door?
In those fleeting, blink of an eye moments, I wish I had captured on film, I realize what it's going to be like to watch him grow, to see him graduate from Kindergarten, high school and college, the delight in his eyes when he sees his first bike, a new sibling, his prom date. It all seems like it is an infinity of time away, but so close I can almost reach out and touch it.
So those snapshots are in my heart, and my words here, where hopefully I can look back and capture the same feeling I felt when that first "bye" escaped his lips and he smiled like he had just won the bottle lottery. And how years from now, vestiges of that little boy smile will shine when he introduces me to the person he's going to share his life with. Or buys his first car. Or sees his first child grin and giggle in the bathtub and say "bye" to me.
My oldest daughter will be 20 in May. My baby boy will be 1 in Feb. I remember her at his age like it was yesterday. When I pull out the movies of her I realize just how much of teh details I had forgotten. That is the sad part. We can't remember it all no matter how hard we try to capture it.
Posted by: Angie | January 23, 2007 at 05:52 PM
Dear heavens, woman...can you make me cry any harder? *wipes tear*
Today is exactly 2 weeks from Tyler's 1st birthday, and as I watch all that he's learning and understanding right now, I have so many of these snapshots in my head...and my heart.
Isn't motherhood wonderful? :)
Posted by: JoyLynn | January 23, 2007 at 06:37 PM
Thanks for making me cry at work.
I think about all those times I just want to remember and how quickly they will grow up...scary.
Posted by: Amy W | January 24, 2007 at 07:03 AM
It does all go by in the blink of an eye but the great thing is that they are always giving you something else to marvel at.
Kids are the greatest gifts, the most rewarding thing you will ever do and they will try your patience more than anything else in the world. And I woudn't trade it for the world!
Posted by: Kami | January 24, 2007 at 09:51 AM
Why must you people always make me cry? Is there some sort of blogging law that I have not been made aware of?
Everything you said is so true. Those moments pass by in the blink of an eye, but at least we have them for that long.
Posted by: Rachel | January 24, 2007 at 02:44 PM
*sniff* That was lovely.
Posted by: Stacey | January 27, 2007 at 05:14 PM
So beautiful.
Posted by: Jenny | February 05, 2007 at 08:44 AM